Only joking. Although he did provide some dodgy advice for me and Russ (combined with useful advice for our opponent Ian) which led to some disasters on the field, the main contributions to us failing to batter the smaller and less well-equipped Royalist army was a poor plan (which left my troops on the left wing isolated), horrendous dice rolling by myself and Mark (in charge of both flanks) and Ian having a good plan, excellent manouvering and dice rolling that suggested that souls had been sold to Beelzebub.
The battle
Ian took the whole Royalist army. Russ took the Scottish contingent, I took the Eastern Association (including Cromwell) and Mark took Fernando on the right.
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| Before we moved - Royalists defending the ditch and hedge at the top, the three armies of Parliament at the bottom. |
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| Local village |
Rules were POW Renaissance with a couple of tweaks
Our forces were scattered all over the place so for the sake of command and control we decided to issue an attack order for both flanks with support orders for the infantry. This was to harm us straight away. A little tip here - use the attack order for your infantry (who will take time to get there and so will ensure they have support) not your cavalry (who will arrive quickly then realise they are all alone with no support at all).
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| The Eastern Association heads for the road - their target |
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| Map and additional info. |
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| Mark and Russ face off against Ian. Mark is already contemplating how to mess up the attack on the right. |
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| My troops get closer to the target but the foot and cannon are awfully slow |
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| The Royalist welcoming committee for my brave horsemen |
My horse reached the road then had to stop to await new orders. The Royalists had also reached the road and managed to pour fire into my static horse (I had some commanded foot but they were shooting into the hedgerows at a disadvantage and as a consequence Cromwell was shot and wounded (which took 1 PIP off any rolls) and which was at least historically accurate. I was in for a rough wooing, that's for sure!
My dragoons had moved to the flank to get some firepower into the cavalry facing them, but were shot themselves. A comment from Captain Obvious (aka Mark) - "You need to get them Dragoons out of there". I rolled for morale and got a 20! Great! They Routed - leaving my whole flank exposed. And the other Parliamentarians were nowhere near their objectives. So a dice roll at a crucial time makes a huge difference.
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| The Dragoons rout - leaving the flank open |
So my cavalry were being shot at as the foot slowly moved forward and Mark was picking his way through the rough terrain on the right. We managed to get a shot off ourselves and had the chance to shoot the general facing us but just missed ("You shot his cockade off!).
In the heat of battle there is always time for conversation, which somehow led to a discussion regarding Voldemort's snake which Mark called Zucchini and Mankini (rather than Nagini) which generated general hilarity.
The hilarity didn't last as the next round of firing shot Cromwell dead. I needed a change of orders from Russ - who was rolling a succession of 1's on a d4 which meant nothing was happening fast. And when the messenger did arrive, we found that Russ hadn't written any orders (so the messenger had arrived with an empty piece of paper) so we had to start all over again.
Russ was also helping on other ways as I was again shot at. "You need him to roll anything but a 5" - so Ian of course rolled a 5. Which was par for the course as this battle saw him roll an incredible number of 6's for hits and 1's for morale tests as opposed to our 1's for hits and 20's for morale.
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| Mark happily contemplates the battlefield as my forces take a battering |
Unfortunately my dice meant that only 2 units charged in (the one that failed was supposed to charge the Shaken unit). I managed to then lose the subsequent melee and my morale rolls were 0 (Rout) and 7 (Shaken). Not for the first - and certainly not the last - the phrase "For F***'s Sake!!" rang around the room. Ian then rubbed salt in the wound by rolling another 6 which killed one of our two cannons. Mark (on the right flank) also lost a melee, rolled a 0 for morale (Retire Shaken) and lost another base charged in the flank then another charged in the rear.
We were rapidly learning the getting troops on your flank was lethal and Ian was capable of throwing 6's for fun.
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| Ian's troops pop over the hedge to kill one of our cannons |
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| Orders arrive and my cavalry charge in. Yet I contrive to lose from this position! |
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| A typical combat throw from me. |
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| The Royalist battle line - notice the Scots infantry still nowhere near as my troops get chopped to bits. |
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| Where have all my cavalry gone? |
Ian was also dishing out punishment to Mark on the other flank. He rolled two 6's in succession to inflict damage on Mark - who then rolled another 0 for morale (hence another Rout). Ian (in pursuit) then hit another of Mark's units in the flank and routed another one. Ian did manage to Rout his own unit after shooting, but took another of Mark's bases in the process. It was a competition between me and Mark as to who could lose the quickest!
Russ had finally (bear in mind this was around halfway through the battle) got his troops within touching distance of the enemy. Namely the foot who'd popped over the hedge to kill our cannon. His Scottish horse (which we later discovered to be armed with pointy sticks and riding Shetland ponies when they came up against half-decent cavalry) hit Ian's foot on the flank and managed a bit of Routing back. This created a huge hole between Ian's main line and his right flank - which we thought the Scottish horse could exploit.
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| Our sole successful attack at this stage - Scots cavalry get a flank attack in. |
Mark as ever was full of advice and telling myself and Russ what to do - which usually resulted in making things worse. As Russ said "What you're saying is 'I've killed all my men - now let me kill yours!'". This included the incident where Russ' Scottish horse reached the hedge after driving off the Commanded Foot. Prudence told him to get his troops over en masse but Mark (the little devil on his shoulder) encouraged him to go for a flank attack with just one unit and a supporting unit on its left. Ian rolled a 1 (what a shock!)so was not Shaken, polished off the attacking unit and the supporting unit (being on the left) was also open to shooting from the attacked units and was promptly shot to bits.
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| Scottish horse charge the flank. Note the supporting unit that gets shot to ribbons as they're to the defender's front. Cheers, Mark! |
So at this stage it was looking terrible for us. We'd thrown away a numerical advantage, were getting pounded on both flanks and (worringly) the Scottish infantry would arrive at the ditch outnumbered and the opposition would have cover bonuses from the hedge. Oh dear.
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| Mark making a complete hash of the right wing as the Scottish infantry finally arrive |
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| The Royalist cavalry chop away at the Parliamentarians. |
We were looking for a miracle at this stage. Mark had already tried his 'carpe diem' approach with his own and Russ's troops and again was the devil on Russ' shoulder compared to my angel on his other shoulder suggesting caution - encouraging Russ to go ploughing in. This was not helped by his comment "If you pull your finger out and roll decent dice we can still win this".
We were long way from Mark's original comment "I'm going to smack him here and roll up his line". This now seemed highly unlikely as he'd already lost half his command.
But when Russ rolled a 5 for hits, Ian would roll a 6. Indeed, once the Scots infantry had piled in and started causing morale checks on the Royalist line, Ian delivered rolls of 3,4,4,4 on a d4 to remove all Shaken markers. Mark checked for a pentangle and sacrificed goat under Ian's chair. I suggested he'd had the dice in the oven as well as the pizza as more 6's were delivered in quick succession.
Even more to our chagrin were Mark's helpful suggestions to our opponent like "Why isn't your general in the front line" - which was gratefully received and (in the subsequent melee) used to kill another of Mark's generals. "When you give us advice our troops die, and when you give him advice our troops die!" quoth Russ. He was also bemoaning the quality of his Scottish horse who seemed to crumble as soon as they contacted any enemy. At least twice he'd hit one on the flank, and both times had lost.
But the darkest hour comes before the dawn. My foot support finally arrived on the left flank - as did the Scottish dragoons - and not before time. My left flank now consisted of Lancaster, one cannon one horse unit and one Commanded Foot. They quickly helped stabilise the left flank and started pressuring Ian's right.
In the centre, the Scottish foot closed (mostly) to the hedge and made their frame guns count. After several volleys it was clear that Russ was pouring more fire in than he was receiving and (as most of his units were butted up against the hedge) were getting the same cover bonuses.
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| Finally the Scots infantry arrive and start banging away. |
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| My foot arrive (as do the Scots dragoons) and immediately make a difference as the Scottish horse leap the hedge . |
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| Commanded Shot charge Rupert in the rear. |
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| Scottish dragoons charge in. |
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| Shaken markers abound as the main lines clash |
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| A messenger speeds towards the Royalist cavalry as do the Parliamentarians. |
As my foot swung around we contacted more enemy units. Rupert (while running away) issued an attack order for the remaining Royalists on our left but it remained to be seen if there would be any left by the time the order arrived. We simply aimed to get to grips as quickly as possible and get our Scottish dragoons in.
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| The Royalists charge and face a determined enemy. |
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| Aftermath - general in retreat and another unit lost. |
In all the chaos our lone cannon had been banging away at a Royalist unit that had foolishly exposed its flank to it. Subsequently the gun reduced the strength of the unit each turn and forced it to go Shaken nearly every turn as well. So the cannons did make some form of difference.
Away on the right, a desperate melee was underway with Mark's general and foot engaging Ian's general and cavalry. Ian managed some outrageous saves and kept his general in the fight AND inflicting damage despite fighting at a major disadvantage.
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| The left wing is finally secured |
The left wing now clear (as Russ' cavalry did a bit of mopping up and Rupert made for the centre) we now had to wait for orders from the C in C to now engage the centre. Time was getting on however - in the battle and real life.
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| More pounding in the centre - surely something must give soon? |
As a consequence and given that it was approaching 9pm in the battle clock, we thought it likely that the Royalists could retire in the dusk before our left could engage their centre and assuming the Scottish centre would find it hard to pursue as they'd have to cross the hedge and ditch.
Aftermath
The post-mortem decreed that Ian had managed his resources very well but our general rustiness with POW had meant that we'd made some basic mistakes. Leading with the infantry on the flanks with supporting cavalry would have led to a completely different battle. The Royalist horse would have been reluctant to attack pike and shot in a direct charge - and would leave their flanks exposed should this happen. Therefore we could have expected to bash in the flanks. Once this occurred, Ian would have had to strip his centre to protect his flanks - and Russ' superior firepower and numbers would have told there.
A crucial roll was losing my dragoons on a 20 in the first morale test. My flank would have been more secure and my cavalry more intact than they otherwise were.
We were also rash in making charges with unsupported troops. If we learnt anything here it was a) keep your flanks secure and b) don't let your troops get isolated.
I certainly need more POW experience but making stupid mistakes is often the best way to learn. And boy, did we make some stupid mistakes.