Yes - another non-wargaming rant! Being a committed Bike Nazi, I am intolerant of the stupid, selfish and downright ignorant behaviour of pedestrians and dog owners. Specifically down our neck of the woods.
I live on the Wirral - right by the seaside. When the sun shines (like this weekend and this evening) which is rare at this time of year but still very welcome, I like to go out on the bike along the sea side.
Now the Council - cleverly - have created a number of bike trails to ensure that bikes and pedestrians don't mix. This is mainly to cut down on accidents as pedestrians have a distressing ability to walk into the path of bikes, let their dogs off the leash in front of bikes or allow their children to throw themselves directly in the path of bikes. Or allow their kids to walk the dog - with the lead stretching from one side of the path to the other. Or walk 8 abreast preventing anything but a Sherman Tank from getting past/
Now bikes are only equipped with bells (not - regretfully - airhorns) to advise pedestrians that a wheeled vehicle is in their vicinity. For some reason they seem to hear it but not register what the tinging sound is. They look out to sea, up in the sky, even down at their feet - anywhere in fact except where the danger is coming from. Forcing the cyclist to slow to a stop and try to squeeze past the collected hordes of confused idiots.
So the council made cycle paths - away from the main promenade (for the pedestrians) so cyclists and walkers need not meet. They are covered in bright red tarmac (to provide an obvious contrast with the pedestrians concrete paths) and - for the benefit of the truly stupid - blue cycle signs every 50 metres.
Now I'm not saying all cyclists are perfect - there are still those numpties who continue to cycle on the promenade, but they are few in number.
I wish I could say the same for pedestrians on the cycle path. But I can't. Despite having a promenade that is a) as wide as a road and b) closer to the sea there are any number of idiots who walk down the cycle path. With a dog. This could be because the cycle path goes alongside a grassy area which also has a footpath so dog owners have the ability to walk their pooches and let the dogs roam free. Except they choose instead to walk themselves and the dog down the cycle path itself.
Now a cycle path is only about as wide as a pavement, so you can't really cycle past an idiot. They insist on walking down the middle of it in any event. Like the dozy mares we came across on Sunday. Walking down the cycle path, ignoring the frantic ringing and with a dog so big that, should you put a saddle on it, Henry VIII could have ridden it around Hampton Court. I have to grind to a stop and politely ask them to get the dog out of the cycle path so I can get past.
Cue a load of abuse from her (returned with Spades from me) with the general content that a) its not just for cyclists ("yes it is, you stupid cow"), the dog wasn't in the way ("then why did I need to stop, dopey?"), bikes shouldn't be up here ("Have a long, hard look at the blue sign above your head, you ignorant pork-chop") etc.
Further down, another load of pedestrians and dog walkers (with added 'lead across the path') and then some joggers who actually heard the bell, turned around...then kept jogging down the cycle path!
They were greeted with a "For F**** Sake!" from me. But that wasn't the end. It's like there's a bounty for pedestrians - walk on the cycle path and win ten quid.
That it should stop there it would be bad enough. But there is another distressing trend appearing (which incidentally was covered by a columnist in the Sunday Times). This trend is the bagging of dog sh*t - then leaving it where it lies. The cycle path is covered with these little doggy mines which adds interest to the typical ride as one wrong move means spending an interesting half hour prising the remnants of a tin of Pedigree Chum out of your tyre treads with a lolly stick and trying not to catch a life-threatening disease in the process.
I should explain. Leave a dog turd out in the open and it will soon 'break down' (not emotionally, just physically). Flies will leave their kids in there to grow and develop - not nice. But bacteria and sunshine will soon reduce to contents to a hard crusty chunk. But leave it in a plastic bag and you create a breeding ground for bacteria like no other - a breeding ground that produces some of the most toxic and threatening bacteria that can easily blind a child or give them pulmonary diseases that could leave them gasping for breath for the rest of their lives. Such disease bags can carry on producing these horrors for two years or more. It is actually better to let the dog crap on the path itself than stick it in a plastic bag and leave it there.
But that's the idiotic thing. The dog owner has done half of the job - scraping their dog's crap into the bag. But then they just drop it on the floor. Why? Is it too onerous to walk a few yards to the many bins along the promenade - put there specifically for the purpose. Do they suppose that the Turd Fairies will magically remove the parcel of crud and leave a shiny pound coin in its place? Will the Crap Bag actually evolve, grow tentacles, drag itself to the nearest bin and throw itself in? Or - as I suspect - they simply believe they have done their duty ("It's in a bag!") and leave it to someone else to pick up the offending article and deal with it. Like the dog itself?
I've seen this on country walks as well. Little crap bags hanging from branches (encouraging little kids into hitting them with sticks like a cheap pinata - something they will learn to only do once).
The supposed argument is "I will pick it up on the way back" - meaning dog owners display the worst symptoms of amnesia known to man as I have yet to see one actually remove such a bag from the tree branch. Despite it hanging there like an orange or black Jiminy Cricket at eye level overhanging the footpath.
Do pedestrians on the cycle path use the same excuse? No. They are simply lazy, ignorant fudge nuggets.
Interestingly we no longer have the Phantom Crapper outside our front gate - all our neighbours have signs up relating to the need for dog owners to 'clean up after your dog' so we have shamed the culprit into modifying their behaviour (and they know that we are on the lookout and will have no qualms about reporting them for the £1,000 fine).
I fear the cycle path is some way off this happy state.
I live on the Wirral - right by the seaside. When the sun shines (like this weekend and this evening) which is rare at this time of year but still very welcome, I like to go out on the bike along the sea side.
Now the Council - cleverly - have created a number of bike trails to ensure that bikes and pedestrians don't mix. This is mainly to cut down on accidents as pedestrians have a distressing ability to walk into the path of bikes, let their dogs off the leash in front of bikes or allow their children to throw themselves directly in the path of bikes. Or allow their kids to walk the dog - with the lead stretching from one side of the path to the other. Or walk 8 abreast preventing anything but a Sherman Tank from getting past/
Now bikes are only equipped with bells (not - regretfully - airhorns) to advise pedestrians that a wheeled vehicle is in their vicinity. For some reason they seem to hear it but not register what the tinging sound is. They look out to sea, up in the sky, even down at their feet - anywhere in fact except where the danger is coming from. Forcing the cyclist to slow to a stop and try to squeeze past the collected hordes of confused idiots.
So the council made cycle paths - away from the main promenade (for the pedestrians) so cyclists and walkers need not meet. They are covered in bright red tarmac (to provide an obvious contrast with the pedestrians concrete paths) and - for the benefit of the truly stupid - blue cycle signs every 50 metres.
Now I'm not saying all cyclists are perfect - there are still those numpties who continue to cycle on the promenade, but they are few in number.
I wish I could say the same for pedestrians on the cycle path. But I can't. Despite having a promenade that is a) as wide as a road and b) closer to the sea there are any number of idiots who walk down the cycle path. With a dog. This could be because the cycle path goes alongside a grassy area which also has a footpath so dog owners have the ability to walk their pooches and let the dogs roam free. Except they choose instead to walk themselves and the dog down the cycle path itself.
 |
| Have a guess who is supposed to use this lane? Go on! |
Now a cycle path is only about as wide as a pavement, so you can't really cycle past an idiot. They insist on walking down the middle of it in any event. Like the dozy mares we came across on Sunday. Walking down the cycle path, ignoring the frantic ringing and with a dog so big that, should you put a saddle on it, Henry VIII could have ridden it around Hampton Court. I have to grind to a stop and politely ask them to get the dog out of the cycle path so I can get past.
Cue a load of abuse from her (returned with Spades from me) with the general content that a) its not just for cyclists ("yes it is, you stupid cow"), the dog wasn't in the way ("then why did I need to stop, dopey?"), bikes shouldn't be up here ("Have a long, hard look at the blue sign above your head, you ignorant pork-chop") etc.
 |
| A dork. |
Further down, another load of pedestrians and dog walkers (with added 'lead across the path') and then some joggers who actually heard the bell, turned around...then kept jogging down the cycle path!
They were greeted with a "For F**** Sake!" from me. But that wasn't the end. It's like there's a bounty for pedestrians - walk on the cycle path and win ten quid.
 |
| Two idiots, yesterday. |
That it should stop there it would be bad enough. But there is another distressing trend appearing (which incidentally was covered by a columnist in the Sunday Times). This trend is the bagging of dog sh*t - then leaving it where it lies. The cycle path is covered with these little doggy mines which adds interest to the typical ride as one wrong move means spending an interesting half hour prising the remnants of a tin of Pedigree Chum out of your tyre treads with a lolly stick and trying not to catch a life-threatening disease in the process.
But that's the idiotic thing. The dog owner has done half of the job - scraping their dog's crap into the bag. But then they just drop it on the floor. Why? Is it too onerous to walk a few yards to the many bins along the promenade - put there specifically for the purpose. Do they suppose that the Turd Fairies will magically remove the parcel of crud and leave a shiny pound coin in its place? Will the Crap Bag actually evolve, grow tentacles, drag itself to the nearest bin and throw itself in? Or - as I suspect - they simply believe they have done their duty ("It's in a bag!") and leave it to someone else to pick up the offending article and deal with it. Like the dog itself?
 |
| "It's alright...I'll do it, master" |
I've seen this on country walks as well. Little crap bags hanging from branches (encouraging little kids into hitting them with sticks like a cheap pinata - something they will learn to only do once).
The supposed argument is "I will pick it up on the way back" - meaning dog owners display the worst symptoms of amnesia known to man as I have yet to see one actually remove such a bag from the tree branch. Despite it hanging there like an orange or black Jiminy Cricket at eye level overhanging the footpath.
Do pedestrians on the cycle path use the same excuse? No. They are simply lazy, ignorant fudge nuggets.
Interestingly we no longer have the Phantom Crapper outside our front gate - all our neighbours have signs up relating to the need for dog owners to 'clean up after your dog' so we have shamed the culprit into modifying their behaviour (and they know that we are on the lookout and will have no qualms about reporting them for the £1,000 fine).
I fear the cycle path is some way off this happy state.