10. After hours illegal off track chinchilla racing goes bad, owes hundreds of thousands to South American “investors”
9. Needs cover for his Amway Sales army of salespeople that he has recruited into the business and pays for his A-lister ways.
8. Secret celebrity hoarder, caught collecting mannequins and KFC buckets in the back alleys of Long Beach. 
7. Video scandal – A tape of him with two over-60 yodeling cowgirls in compromising and yoga defining positions.
6. “Accidentally” ran over a screenwriter after a bad table read.
5. Woke up with three red noses, two balloon animals and a dead clown in his bed.
4. Got arrested after an altercation at Madeo’s where he lashed out in a jealous rage and act of passion when he found a rival actor sitting at the table he had been romantic with and intimately involved with for many years and was planning on marrying.
3. Created a religion based on the energy vibrations found in vacuum cleaners and Roombas, he was caught trying to liberate several dozen at the Wilshire Beverly Hills from their indentured bonds. Not the first time. 
2. After a weekend of mushroom hunting with an unnamed A-list actor, he was found wandering in the High Sierras naked, knocking on trees looking for cookies and elves.
1. Sheriff found him stuck all the way in 5th gear in a parking lot behind a Chinese restaurant.