Speaking years later about his childhood, he said, "It can all be condensed into a single sentence - 'The short and simple annals of the poor.'" If anything, his cursory description was an understatement. Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), who has been consistently rated as one of the two best American presidents by historians (the other one is Franklin Roosevelt) and remains one of the most admired figures in history worldwide, grew up under two forms of impoverishment. Aside from growing up impecuniously, he had to endure a far more painful form of poverty. He had no love from his father..
Thomas Lincoln (1778-1851), Lincoln's father, had an equally difficult early life. When he was only eight years old, his father (Lincoln's grandfather) was killed by Indians on the frontier state of Kentucky. As a result, Thomas was to grow up largely illiterate and forced to lead a life as a transient laborer. Fortunately, his woodworking skills allowed him to eke out a living.
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In 1806, Thomas married Nancy Hanks (1784-1818). A year afterwards, they gave birth to their first child - a daughter named Sarah. Two years later, Abraham was born. Due to legal conflicts over his property, Thomas relocated the family to a farm near the Ohio River in the state of Indiana. Rather than improving their lot, Thomas only saw his economic fortunes decline. He had few orders to make cabinets, and his farm, which was tended to by young Abraham, was not profitable.
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After only nine years of together as a family, tragedy struck the Lincoln household in 1818. Young Lincoln's mother, who was only thirty-four years old, died after ingesting poisonous milk. Due to being emotionally devastated, the Lincoln house fell into disarray. Their primitive residence became filthy, and twelve-year old Sarah was forced to become the family cook - a job met with limited success due to her youth and lack of training.
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Only fourteen months later, Thomas found a new wife. Sarah Bush Johnston (1788-1869), Lincoln's stepmother, managed to turn the entire family around in a short time. From the day of her arrival, the house was put in order, and her caring manner lifted the spirits of the entire family. She immediately took to her stepson's vivacious personality and encouraged his interest in reading. How much did she care for him? Although she had a son of her own from a previous marriage, she said of young Lincoln, "Abe was the best boy I ever saw or expect to see."
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If Sarah Johnston preferred Abe over her own son (John D. Johnston), Thomas Lincoln openly gravitated toward his stepson John due to their shared interest in farm work. Although he had a strong wiry frame and was capable of doing a prodigious amount of physical labor, young Lincoln disliked the tedium of the tasks. Oftentimes, he would break open a book or head down to the general store to meet acquaintances and tell stories. When Thomas discovered his son reading instead of doing an assigned chore, he often scolded him in anger and sometimes beat him. Consequently, Abraham, who was a truly precocious child, became completely alienated from his father.
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Thirty years later in 1851, Lincoln, who had by then become a wealthy attorney with a wife and kids in Springfield, Illinois, received a letter from his step-brother John Johnston - the one Lincoln's father had favored over him. The note contained unwelcome news. Thomas Lincoln was gravely ill, and he wanted to see his son Abe before dying.
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Although his reaction is not known, it is likely that Lincoln was both deeply conflicted and distraught -as he had battled periods of depression his entire life. In response, Lincoln replied to his step-brother, "Say to him that if we could meet now, it is doubtful whether it would not be more painful than pleasant."
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Lincoln, a man who had the fortitude and resilience to guide the Union to victory in a Civil War that took the lives of more than 600,000 men and demonstrated an immense capacity to forgive others time and time again, could not overcome the anguish wrought by his father's neglect and violent hand. The memories were too painful, and Lincoln did not attend his funeral.
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Father's Day, 2011
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Father's Day is now approaching for much of the world. If you were fortunate enough to have had or now have a good father, you may very well be in the minority. As no man is perfect, no father can be perfect. Yet, sons and daughters do not expect perfection. What do they expect? First, fathers need to accept their children for 'who they are' instead of 'who they wish them to be.' This was Thomas Lincoln's first mistake. Secondly, while a father must occasionally be firm in offering ethical instruction to his children, physical punishment only serves to create lifelong emotional scars rather than correct misbehavior. A violent hand also reveals emotional immaturity on the part of a parent - which usually ends in the child's loss of respect.
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To all the fathers who have given their sons and daughters their love, their time, their hope and their understanding over the years, you are indeed wished a very Happy Father's Day.
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(Photo: Abraham Lincoln - click on to enlarge. To see photos of Lincoln's father, mother and step-mother - and a 'unique' photo of Honest Abe, click onto KleosTimes in the link to the right and view postings on 12 June.)
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J Roquen