Today's a very different Out Spotlight. Today's about equality and what it means to be recognized as a citizen who has the same rights as everyone else and for one of the most basic of rights: the right to marry the person you love.
On June 24th history was made in the state of New York, with the passage of legislation giving gay and lesbian couples the freedom to marry in the state.
Not only did this legislation bring the number of states with marriage equality to six, but it doubled the number of people in the United States who now have these rights.
While there are still many in the US who oppose marriage equality, that number is changing and are now in the minority. In a recent poll 53% of US says they support same sex marriage.
There will always those who will ask "Why is marriage equality so important?" "Why does it mean so much?" "Isn't domestic partnerships enough?" The answer to those kind of questions, was shared with me this way:
"I think it's completely different for gay people to get married than it is for straights. Straight people grew up knowing they could marry if they wanted. When I first came out, I never thought I'd see gay marriage in my lifetime, or if I did I'd be really old. And yesterday I married her.""
That person was Wicked and she wanted share with all of OMG what it means to her to have the right to marry.
"On May 2, 2011, the Mrs and I were legally married in DC. Tom was there, along with several other friends and family. We had a non-legal ceremony in 2000, and have been together since 1999. Because we've been together and committed for so long, I wasn't sure if it would feel any different to be legally married. After all, we have the same last name, powers of attorney, own a home together, and all our property is joint. How much more married could we get than that?
However, when we stood up in front of all our supporters this time I knew the state would recognize our relationship. Gay couples who've had ceremonies are often asked, "But are you really married?" This time the answer would be yes. I'm here to tell you- that matters. It is the reason why gay people are fighting so hard for this right. So many people want to diminish our relationships and say they are not as good as straight ones. You may say, "Why does that matter, you know your relationship is valid, that should be enough." I think the reason why societies created rituals like marriage in the first place is because that is not enough. There is something deeply significant about standing up in front of a whole bunch of people and saying, "Yes, this is the person I'm going to commit to," and knowing the importance of that relationship is legally and societally recognized. I can call her my wife and no one can question it.
Since our marriage, our relationship has gone on much as before. Although now she eats my leftovers and drinks my iced tea and says, "What are you going to do about it, divorce me?" We did go and see her parents a few weeks back. You better believe the fact that we legally married mattered to them. They were thrilled about it. They have the pictures up in their house.
For some people marriage may not be a big deal. Not all gay couples want to marry. That's okay, they don't have to. It's not mandatory gay marriage. Not all straight couples want to marry either. But all should have the right to choose. This is what we are fighting for, the right for all gay couples to define their own commitments as they see fit and have them recognized in the same way straight commitments are. I look forward to the day when gay couples can marry anywhere in the country. I think this day will come, and sooner rather than later. I am glad to have been a part of it, and so glad to have the Mrs as my wife."
You couldn't have said it better Wicked, and thank you so much for sharing it with us here at OMG.
Congratulations
to you and Mrs.
on your marriage.
to you and Mrs.
on your marriage.
Here's to a lifetime of love and happiness.
To the wonderful couple!
