Kate Upton

Okay, I am trying to get back in the swing of things here with regular Tuesday posts so this week I offer, for your consideration, Kate Upton.

Kate is a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model.

The fact that Kate is an SI swimsuit model is pretty much the sum total of what I know about Kate beyond the obvious fact that she is smokin’ like Hiroshima on the afternoon of August 6th, 1945.

I would have looked up more info about her but by this point pretty much anything I write is being comprehended by our mostly male readership as “blah blah blah boobs blah blah” so unless I had a link to a homemade sex tape anything else I wrote here without humor value would have been a waste of time for all involved.

This is Kate eating rock candy in lingerie. I am officially changing my name to “Rock Candy”. Hey, it’s worth a shot.

Kate will also hold your glass for you. Kate is very considerate, as you can see.

This is Kate blowing bubbles. I am now changing my name to “Bubbles”. It can’t be any worse than “Rock Candy”.

By now most of you were thinking “well, does she have a nice back yard?” Well, yes, yes she does. And some of you were thinking “does she have a friend with an equally nice back yard?” To this I respond: you greedy bastards. Is one perfect ten not good enough for you?!? Sheesh!

Yeah, I can’t even come up with words for this one.

Well there’s that back yard again. I bet none of you have ever been that jealous of 8 square inches of material in your life, have you?

Okay, Kate is in bed so it must be nap time. Let’s leave her be. I am sure we will probably see much more of her in the future. If you want to see more of Kate, go to Kate’s Official website of painful hotness and DON’T SKIP THE INTRO.  You can also check out her SI Swimsuit pics at Sports Illustrated on-line. Don’t forget to check out the body paint pictures which are remarkably safe for work unless your boss is a complete tool.