As you can tell from the title, Russ did not do too well last night. A combination of going into battle at full sail, throwing the largest collection of '1's in wargaming history and Mark's blatant 'trying it on' meant that the British not only failed to stop the grain convoy getting through but also lost three 74's in the process.
 |
| Spanish convoy |
 |
| Russ goes in on full sail...not a good idea |
It started quite promisingly. The British (myself and Russ) had to stop the grain convoy reaching Toulouse ("If you fail to stop them, you two lose ha ha ha ha ha....I'll get my coat"). We could come in at either side but both had to come from the same side. The victory conditions were to scare off the Spanish escorts OR to board or cause to strike the grain ships.
 |
| I close the route to Tolouse |
If you don't want to know the score, look away now.
The British lost.
"How?" I hear you cry.
What didn't help was the rolls for crew quality. I got two average and one good crew, Russ got one average and two poor crew and Mark got 2 veteran, one good and one average. This meant that he got plusses while Russ was on minuses. Not good.
Russ was nearer than me (I was simply planning to sit across the line of advance to Toulouse and blat anything that came into range). Mark's ships were in a box formation (4 escorts surrounding the 2 grain ships) and Russ made the schoolboy error of getting into range while under full sail. This meant that and shots from the opposition do triple damage to rigging.
Sure enough, Mark's opening salvo (From the San Miguel) ripped Russ's rigging to shreds.
He then helpfully suggested "You don't need to drop your sails as you haven't got any left" which prompted a "S***head' response from Russ. The verbal sniping would continue all night.
As it lost its sails, the John Smith got left behind as Russ' two other ships pressed on and got some licks in himself. Mark however threw two 6's and started hitting the hull. Russ then announced he had 15 gunnery on his sheet - so we discovered Mark had picked up the wrong ships and sheets and was playing with the British ships and Russ had Spanish ships on the table. Rather than start again though we carried on - and Russ' dice throwing represented Spanish crews from here on in.
 |
| Russ' British / Spanish ships - apparently under attack from giant jellyfish (actually smoke markers) |
Mark's 6's had ripped most of the rigging from Russ' other ships (as he hadn't reduced sail). While the conversation was going on Mark made the staggering claim that Nelson wasn't at Trafalgar! He claimed he was mistranslated.
Meanwhile everyone was dropping sails to prevent damage - except for John who was in control of the grain ships who was in the act of turning around and getting out of Dodge. This was prompted by me trying our the double-shot rule. Essentially this means that if you hold your fire and get within 6" you can inflict double damage. As ther grain ships were made from balsa wood John decided that discretion and all that and turned away. As did the cowardly Mark.
 |
| Double shotted guns ready Cap'n. |
Mark : "Have you seen Captain and Commander?"
Me : "No - but I have seen Master and Commander".
Russ' shooting was awful with another '1'. "Serves you right for using Spanish ships" quoth Mark.
Mark shot back inflicting loads of damage, a salvo leading to the classic line from Mark "Half of 15 is 8" which Russ was quick to pounce on.
Russ had to be stoic here, as his ships were pretty much immobile, he was being shot to pieces and couldn't hit back as the dice continued to throw up 1 after 1 and Mark pounded his ships with double shots and dismasted one.
 |
| Russ - suffering but keeping his chin up |
 |
| His ship is dismasted and his others aren't much better. |
At least he passes all his crew morale checks. They are Jolly Jack Tars after all.
Mark had got his ships in close for the extra damage - which meant the Marines could shoot at each other. Russ' 5 dice yielded 0 hits while Mark hit using just 3 dice.
I decided the time had come to get involved (but in hindsight should have stayed where I was) and moved using fighting sail (which is not very fast). Mark decided to keep moving away from me and towards Russ' crippled ships.
Despite doing well, Mark couldn't help trying it on - such as his classic 'move-turn-move-turn' sequence as apparently his 74 had turned into a speedboat.
The verbal sniping continued, such as "I haven't taken any damage as your dice are so sh*t" which was guaranteed to wind Russ up. He decided to shoot first this time - and rolled another 1 to Mark's obvious delight.
 |
| John runs away |
 |
| Everyone running away from my ships. |
The wind decided to shift at this point and Mark's ships were becalmed. Luckily for him he'd put enough distance between us that I couldn't punish him. Russ was close but I said "You're OK, its Russ. He'll throw a 1"
And he did!
Mark said "The last time I saw dice this bad, Phil was throwing them". He's not wrong!
Especially as he then threw another 1. Countered with Mark throwing another 6. This set the tone for the rest of the battle.
Mark was blatting away and Russ couldn't his a barn door. The Santa Claus came in with a whopping 14 hits and nothing came back the other way. Russ was rapidly losing crew, guns and hope. He wandered off at one stage, coming back clutching a pint, so he'd clearly turned to drink to console himself.
Mark however continued to try it on. This included moving a ship an extra inch (and being pulled up for it) then claimed that he wouldn't have collided with his own ship (without actually measuring it) - "Noooo, that's OK".
 |
| The Try It On master |
 |
| The non-colliding ships. Note no tape measure in sight... |
This drove Russ to a bit of Try It On of his own, claiming to be with 4" when he wasn't. Not that it mattered as he rolled two more 1's.
So it all continued. Russ' ships drifting with the wind, being shot to pieces while John scooted round the back to avoid my oncoming ships. The hulks somehow managed to keep fire coming out, and many quotes from Russ along the theme of 'half of 9 is 8' but his throws were appalling.
 |
| The battle of the hulks, as I slowly try to get to grips. |
Mark's Try It On session was still not finished as he tried to move a ship sideways "It's like Dancing on Ice here" said Russ. Mark was piling on the damage though with multiple hits and double-bubble damage. Russ managed to get a shot within 4" as one of Mark's ships had a bent spinnaker and got 5 hits and a critical.
In return Mark shot back and threw high dice (meaning shooting away whatever Russ' rigging was left hanging onto the masts - which were also matchwood). "I need 1's - here, Russ, throw my dice for me" quipped the Welshy - "Of course, normally I'd ask Phil" he laughed.
He wasn't laughing later when he found four flat tyres on his van.
We also noticed at this stage that the Spanish ships were getting further and further way from Tolouse.
 |
| Russ fighting impossible odds as John looks on impassively. |
Russ then had to leave and so handed over his play sheets to me - they looked like bingo cards!
"Take it from here, mate". His last roll - a '1'. What a shock!" He then undertook The Scooch and made off for the car park.
 |
| Russ' ships sheet - not a lot left! |
We were going to call it a day as my ships finally got into range. One of Mark's ships was dismasted and my double-shotted guns blatted it into oblivion with a stern rake and it struck immediately. My only shot of the game.
But the grain ships were out of range and I was never going to catch them (although it was likely that I could revenge British Pride by getting into the damaged Spanish warships if nothing else). So a good Spanish win.
It was a great battle and thanks to John for getting it on. I'm finding that these months of one rule set works well and we quickly get the hang of each set of rules.
Great fun, a good night - and will Russ ever roll 1's again like he did the other night? I hope so if we're playing FOG soon!