Crackers With An Agenda

It's bland, plain and virtually tasteless. In a word, it is boring.
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Of course, a plain graham cracker is only one option. To spice things up a bit, you could try one with sugar, cinnamon or honey. If you did that, however, you would be violating the intents and purposes behind the graham cracker and its creator - Sylvester Graham (1794-1851).
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Graham was a not only man of the cloth in puritanical Massachusetts in the early 19th century, he was also a 'dietary reformer'. Long before the age of the nutritionist, Graham correctly surmised that a person's diet had a profound effect on his (or her) health and behavior. In regard to the latter, he zealously focused in on one particular form of expression - sex. Similar to both his religious contemporaries and many Christians today, Graham was deeply troubled by the 'sin' of physical passion. For him, sex or even thoughts of sex demonstrated a lack of self-control and was ultimately contrary to a mind and heart dedicated to a holy God.
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Theorizing on the impact of food upon the body, Graham concluded that coffee, tea, alcohol, spices, meat and anything with sugar ought to be discarded from one's diet. Why? According to him, these edible products were stimulants to an overactive sexual imagination.
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Hence, Graham invented the 'Graham' cracker - a biscuit designed to dull the senses and the spirits who ate them. By sticking to wheat products and water, a person of faith would be less tempted by his or her own sexual desires - as they were no longer powered by coffee, tea, meat etc.
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Scientifically speaking, Graham's dietary prescription was half wrong and half ahead of its time. Alcohol may loosen the libido, but it does not increase sex drive. It is a depressant. Recent studies, however, suggest that caffeine may indeed be responsible for generating more passion in women. If true, Starbucks may be a better venue for romance than the local bar.
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A cinnamon graham cracker, then, is the ultimate hybrid. Cinnamon, which was liberally thrown on the bed of Egyptians prior to lovemaking as an ancient aphrodisiac, sits atop a cardboard-tasting cracker expressly developed to encourage chaste behavior.
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Something has gotta give.
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(Picture: Sylvester Graham).
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J Roquen