How to Find a Masculine Halloween Costume for Your Effeminate Son

So, Halloween is here, and you're probably excited about the chance to use your children as a great excuse to go trick-or-treating again. But this year you're kind of concerned that your son's effeminate mannerisms and his fervent desire to dress up like a ballerina are going to get people talking and give you weird looks...

Fear not, dear friend: The Onion's Today Now Show has brought in an expert to help you figure out how to overcome your son's giddiness.



And if you dare, check out Marilyn Manson's version of the Halloween Song.
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