The Typical Wargamer

On my visit to Phalanx I went by train.  A couple of stops down a man (I have to be honest - a chunky, beardy guy wearing jeans, black t-shirt, glasses with a rucksack) sat down on the seat opposite me.  I knew I could relax and didn't need to look out of the window to check which stop I needed - I instinctively knew that I just had to follow this guy and he'd lead me right to the door.

And I was right.

Having been to a few wargaming shows now I feel there is certainly a stereotypical wargaming 'type'.  And although we come in all shapes and sizes, there seems to be a certain theme regarding wargames show attendees....

Male : the huge majority of wargaming show attendees are male.  Phalanx was at least 99% male and the few females that were there were either manning stalls or dressed up for a participation or other.  I'm sure there are normal females who attend shows but they clearly get lost in the crowd because I rarely see one (I don't count long-suffering wives clearly being dragged around against their will).

Middle-Aged : most wargame shows will have a spread of ages (there was a kid in a buggy at Pahalanx which helps bring the average age down).  There were the teenagers snapping up mainly W40k and FoW stuff but the vast majority were well past their 40's.  Well past. 

Glasses : if any optician wants to make a fortune, he should set up a stall in a wargames show.  I don't know if its an age factor (our eyes deteriorate after 40 anyway) or the strain of painting miniatures but the amount of eyewear on display was well above the national average.  Often the glasses are perched at the top of the head - to be flicked down when perusing something and then returned to the top of the head as they move on. 

Ticking a few boxes there, pal!
Beards and face-fungus : I'm not saying everyone at the show was hirsute but the hobby does have its greater share of beardies than the general population.  Why is not clear.  The beard does provide something to tug and stroke during game thinking time (tugging and stroking the other obvious candidate could see you banned from the club for life).  Or maybe gamers see that having a shave eats into precious painting time.  Whatever it is, wargamers tend to be beardy. 

He's going for the full monty!

Overweight : Don't take offence - I too am not as svelte as I used to be.  There is, to be fair, nothing strenuous about the hobby (save for lifting a few kilograms of lead from the boot of the car and carrying them 50 yards into the Clubhouse).  And the hobby does lend itself to drinking and eating large quantities of stuff - whether to drown the sorrows of a hefty defeat, to toast a famous victory or to give an excuse for inaction ("I will make my move once I've finished my pint").  But if we are honest, wargamers are not built for speed, but comfort.

Jeans and T Shirt / polo shirt combo : like my friend on the train, the standard uniform of the wargamer is jeans and a T-shirt.  The jeans will be baggy.  The T-shirt is usually black (although other colours are seen) and will usually be either

a) a 'club' shirt (sported by other members at the show)
b) a heavy metal rock band tour T-shirt
c) a 'fantasy' or sci-fi themed Tshirt (e.g. a Hobbit or LOTR or Star Wars t-shirt)
d) a military theme

The other option (alongside the jeans) is the checked shirt.  Usually short-sleeved in the summer - but not always.

False beards don't count!  Nice checked shirt and black t-shirt combo though!
Rucksack : the essential requirement for the experienced show attendee.  The rucksack keeps both hands free for picking stuff up, holds the drink and sandwiches (to avoid the eye-watering prices that the caterers charge for these events) and - of course - to hold the show loot.   Ian let himself down by carrying his loot around in a Tesco carrier bag.  Very bad form - people may confuse him with a normal person, not a show attendee.

B.O. : by popular demand (see comments).  I did think about adding this but didn't want to hurt any soap-dodger's feelings.  But there is a distinct ripeness in the air at games shows and (especially during the Bring and Buy scrum) it can be a positive attribute - forcing back other buyers by stench alone.  Again, does a bath or shower eat into valuable painting time.  Or could money spent on soap be better spent on paint, lead and books?


So if you're going to a wargaming show in the near future then you can use this handy score sheet and see how much a score you can rack up per attendee.

Male : 1 point
Middle Aged : 1 point
Glasses : 1 point (+ 1 point for perched on head)
Chunky : 1 point
Beard or facial hair : 1 point
Jeans / T shirt : 1 point
Check shirt : 1 point
Rucksack : 1 point
B.O. : 1 point

Female of any type : 20 points
Females with any of the above : 1 point each but double points for beards.


As for me - you'd have scored 7 points from a maximum 9 (as I use Sure for Men Sensitive and had a shower that morning).