Today's Out Spotlight made headlines in 1975 when he became the first NFL player and one of the first professional athletes in the world to come out. His autobiography, now in its fifth printing, was a New York Times best seller. A former player, businessman, author and activist ,Today's Out Spotlight is Dave Kopay.
The second of four children, Dave Kopay was born on June 28, 1942 into a strict Roman Catholic Chicago family. While still in elementary school, the Kopay family moved to North Hollywood, California.
Kopay began his football career at Notre Dame High School in Los Angeles, a school known for its championship athletics. He was named to the all-Catholic conference all-star football team. He enrolled at the University of Washington Kopay attended the UW from 1961 to 1964; he completed his degree in history in 1966.
He joined the Theta Chi fraternity when he arrived at the UW, and it was at the frat that he met the man he now calls the great love of his life. But the very idea of being gay was still foreign to him at the time. It was the early 1960s, and to come out would have marked him an outlier. The thought frightened and repulsed him. He was a football player, after all.That remained his mindset throughout college, even as he and his frat brother slept together on the sleeping porch of their house, their encounters often taking place after both had dropped off dates. He had closeted himself so completely, insulated by his fear and insecurity, that he never attempted to seek out others in his position, much less the city's gay enclaves. It would take more than a decade for him to begin confronting his sexuality.
As his personal life grew increasingly complicated and clandestine, he also struggled on the football field, failing to earn a varsity letter in his junior year. He finally broke through in his senior season, averaging over 48 minutes a game to lead the team. He was named an All-American and led the Huskies to the 1964 Rose Bowl. It should have been a joyous time for Kopay, but he continued to feel burdened by the weight of the secret he was keeping.He went on to be name co-captain of the Huskies football team and led the team to the 1964 Rose Bowl and to win the PAC-10 conference title. The following year, he was named an All-American running back.
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n 1964, Kopay was drafted by the San Francisco 49ers. He was the team’s leading rusher in his rookie year. He played professional football with the San Francisco 49ers from 1964 to 1967, the Detroit Lions in 1968, the Washington Redskins in 1969-70, the New Orleans Saints in 1971 and the Green Bay Packers in 1972. He went on to played for five NFL teams during his nine-year career, including the Detroit Lions, the Washington Redskins, the New Orleans Saints and the Green Bay Packers.
While playing for the Redskins, Kopay had relationships with women and men, including teammate Jerry Smith.Struggling with coming to terms with his sexuality, Kopay married a woman, st the suggestion of his therapist, to try to "fix" what he perceived as a problem. The marriage lasted a year.
Three years after retiring from the NFL, Kopay came out publicly in an interview with the Washington Star in 1975.
It was December 1975 and Kopay read an article in the Washington Star newspaper written about dealing with the difficulties of being a homosexual in sports. It quoted, without naming him, an NFL player and his experiences. Kopay knew immediately that the player was his former Washington Redskins teammate Jerry Smith.
He and Smith had talked about writing a book together, but Kopay knew Smith would never come out publicly.
The newspaper was flooded with hate mail about the story, saying it couldn’t be true, that gays did not exist in the NFL. Kopay, who had been retired three years, wanted to prove people wrong and contacted the writer, Lynn Rosellini. She wrote a groundbreaking article that detailed Kopay’s time in the NFL as a closeted homosexual. It was sports history.
Kopay said he got "very, very few hate mails” after coming out. “Mostly the mail that poured in was amazingly supportive and telling their own stories. There were hundreds of letters forwarded to me.”
His coming out did rock his parents and siblings, who have struggled to come to terms with Kopay's new identity. His mother, Marguerite, now understands his decision to come out and their relationship is solid. His father, Anton, who died in 1990, was never fully comfortable with his son's homosexuality. And politics have estranged him from his younger brother and sister—specifically their voting for George W. Bush in the 2004 election. He does, however, welcome his renewed relations with his brother Tony, who during their youth served as a protector and mentor. The two speak often and visit each other regularly.
Kopay went on to write “The David Kopay Story,” with Perry Deane Young, first published in 1977. In it he shared details about his struggle with homophobia and sports.In 1986, he revealed his brief affair with former Redskins teammate Jerry Smith(1943–1986)after Smith's death. Smith played for the Redskins from 1965–1977. He died of AIDS never having publicly coming out of the closet.
After Kopay retired from the NFL, he was considered a top contender for coaching positions, but he believes he was snubbed by NCAA and NFL teams, because he is gay.
Since 1982, he has worked as salesman/purchaser in his family floorcovering business in Hollywood.
Kopay is one of the founding Gay Games Ambassadors, and has been present to support participating athletes and artists at every edition of the Games. He is also a board member of the Gay and Lesbian Athletics Foundation.He was a featured announcer in the opening ceremonies for the Gay Games VII in his hometown of Chicago in July 2006.
A champion of gay rights for more than 30 years, Kopay has given hundreds of speeches and media interviews. In 2007, he donated $1 million to the University of Washington’s Q Center the university's center for LGBT students.
He became interested in the Q Center when he read about a gay UW student who had been living in a homeless shelter while attending school; he wanted to ensure that future students, whose families similarly might have turned their back on them, had resources for continuing their education.
"When David was a student-athlete at the UW in the early 60's, as a gay man, he had nowhere to go for support, affirmation, resources, or safety,'a university representative said. "That is no longer the case, and thanks in part to him, the Q Center will be here in perpetuity."
Despite suffering serious injuries during his football career, he still misses the thrill of playing for the NFL. “There’s nothing like the rush of playing on Monday Night Football,” he says. “There’s nothing that will ever fill that void.”
Since Kopay came out in 1975, only two additional former NFL Players have come out as gay, Roy Simmons in 1992, and Esera Tuaolo in 2002. He has been credited with inspiring these athletes to be more open about their sexual orientation.Kopay has to returned to Seattle and assists the University and the Seattle community in LGBT initiatives.